THE LOUDEST PODCAST

We finished it! You can't say we didn't. 

They found a way to make it even more traumatizing.

Can YOU guess how long we made it before turning it off?

50% terrifying, 50% hilarious, 100% unhappy she made me watch this.

We're all praying this is her last birthday

Edited by ZWICK!

Some of these recipes WON'T kill you!

And: WorldOfTshirts releases the song of the summer.

And And: Kanye West sexts his assistant—which is 100% not allowed!

And: our local 7-11 experiences a devastating coup d'état

There's blood on your hands, listeners!

We're traveling this week + couldn't record a full episode!

But here's an all-new tale of Asterios not knowing how to be normal.

The Bloxburg Protests are in full effect. Rancho has the latest.

And, for tax purposes, we read The Big Bang Theory's "Big Book of Lists"

And: Joe-Joe Siwa "wrote" a new song

And: Rancho spends her free time emailing ass-scientists. (I swear to God, not clickbait.)

Who knew an underground weed "restaurant" in an abandoned bagel store could be bad

What do our vulnerable child stars need? Two words: Nathen Mazri.

In the Zoomers hour of need, their digital savior returns...

Sirancha's Hamtaro pencil toppers arrive just in time for us to review "Hamtaro: The Captive Princess."

And: Asterios finds a way to insult every single Sephora employee at once

Also: Sirancha fails to buy 100 Hamtaro pencil toppers.

Three different times.

Also: Rancho takes her first dab ever (with her little brother)

Also: Asterios gets banned from the family Minecraft server

For her birthday, Rancho makes us all play TikTok's favorite new visual novel, the sociopath-simulator "Class of '09"

Also: Rancho chases three different wild birds out of our house

Asterios did something so stupid it would have gone viral on Buzzfeed back in 2011. Also: we dive into the world of "World Of T-Shirts!"

And: Niko teaches you the right (and wrong) way to trip balls

Rancho eats an entire bag of "Heavy Hitters" gummies and loses her mind on air for your amusement. Enjoy!

Also: how exactly did that guy get diarrhea "all throughout" that airplane? We discuss.

Imagine leaking your own mugshot for clout

You'll never guess what happened

Did you know you can gamble real money on Wheel of Fortune? One boomer's wallet found out the hard way.

Also: is it "Loaf & Chug" or "Loaf & Jug?"

King Cobra pregames before hanging out with his dad for some reason.

In this extra-sized 200th episode we react live to the ENTIRE Nathfield Podcast! Even the teaser episode, which is just a pig grunting.

Sirancha "cuts a promo" on Bluey, then teaches Asterios about Dr. Umar, Kevin Samuels & the "Hotep" movement.

Also: we review the mid finale of MILF Manor.

Also: Naruto Vapes expands into the lucrative "gas station boner pills" market

Also: Asterios fails to get into the VIP entrance at a Harlem Globetrotters game

Also: we see Monday Night RAW live + take a deep dive into the Breaking Bad / Popcorners "Lore"

However bad you think it is, it's worse

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BIRDS! also this entire episode is satire, we would never loot the three philly sephoras within a 20 block radius of each other

You'll never guess what she does next!

Give YOUR ghoulish guesses in the comments!

Send us a voicemail with YOUR 2023 predictions: (848) 863 5343

OR ELSE

We suffered. Now: you will suffer.

It's good when you have to clarify you're "not" Kanye

Rancho tosses our episode outline to recap the plot of Nicolas Cage's "The Family Man" 

Oh geez

Also: do fat people wear capes? Vote here: https://twitter.com/asterios/status/1590734336906891265

Also: Peter Griffin something something something Lois' Mom