Boomer vz. Zoomer #2: Andy Signore, Zoomer Hero

We're back for episode two with a very special guest: Andy Signore, the creator of Honest Trailers, Movie Fights, and multiple enraged Twitter accounts. Is Andy innocent of the various claims multiple parties have made against him? Did he listen to episode one of this podcast before agreeing to come on for episode two? Will Asterios quit the show in a fit of righteous indignation? All this and more this week on BOOMER vs ZOOMER!

Boomer vs Zoomer #1: Pilot

I'm Asterios Kokkinos, and in meme terms, I'm a goddamn boomer. I'm 37 years old. I got the original Nintendo for christmas and freaked the fuck out. I remember a time when we didn't have an internet, and mobile phones were only for assholes like Zach Morris...the ultimate boomer.

I'm friends with a hilarious man named Mumkey Jones, who's a goddamn zoomer. He's 23 years old. He probably grew up with a Playstation Vita or something, or I dunno, maybe he was crazy into Minecraft or...man I honestly have no idea. 

And that's kinda what this podcast is about! A boomer and a zoomer, coming together every week and trying to understand each other...while discussing whatever stupid fucked up shit is happening in the world these days. 

But secretly, this podcast is just an excuse for me to talk to one of the funniest dudes I know. There's no way he'll read this so don't tell him.

Generic Wrestling Podcast #2: Generic Australian Government Funded Entertainment Event

Who won "The Hell In The Cell?" Certainly not the people who paid hundreds of dollars to not see a finish!

But also: not me. I think Eric beat me by a point or two -- I called The Shield to win both the tag match AND the cage match, and I was dead wrong. Who'd guess the WWE would start protecting its heels?!

This month, we suss out who'll win or lose at The Great Australian Bash, or whatever the hell it's called. And: from now on, we'll be streaming these episodes LIVE, right after the go-home Smackdown, at 10pm EST. So subscribe to youtube.com/asterios for a notification! 

Asterios Kills A Kid #7: Women Sure Are Complicated

Boys Discover These 3 Tricks to Finding Love. Can You Guess Them All? (Hint: Fortnite)

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Asterios Talks To Strangers #3: Zwick Appreciation Week!

More people could use a little Zwick in their lives!

That's why I'm launching ZWICK APPRECIATION WEEK. It's a campaign to tell content creators about America's Favorite Editor Boi, and find ways for them to work together.

Why would I share my secret weapon? Because he's so goddamn good, I know he could help a LOT of people. Podcasters would sound better, YouTubers would have crisper looking videos...he could make everyone's stuff funnier and lives easier!

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Porg Chatter #10: Tallard

 

The Asterios Showkkinos #0-B: Sanctions Away, Maddox!

Break's time's over, Maddox!

Today, the dashing & debonair Jordan Greenberger asked for sanctions to be scheduled against Maddox, "Jane Doe" & Kevin Landau.

Maddox committed a fraud on the courts...and it's time to face the RAMOS-FICATIONS!

Read the full letter at: https://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/nyscef/ViewDocument?docIndex=Lu7HI_PLUS_8lGOQRbpqGpKI4jw==

The Five Minute Podcast: Island Time

Sirancha and I are in Orlando writing a new book and visiting my MOMMY!

We were doing some classic shitposting at the classic chain restaurant "Bahama Breeze" when longtime listener Brady offered us $15 to do a 5MP right on the spot.

So I whipped out my iPhone and hit record...here's what happened!

Generic Wrestling Podcast #1: Generic Hell In A Cell Main Event

I love wrestling, and I bet some of the people in this audience do to! 

In this new show, me and my old college bestie Larnock The Destroyer predict who's gonna win WWE PPV matches each month. 

We keep score, and the loser has to suffer a deliciously ironic punishment.

It's like an Oscar pool, but with even less logic!

Science Friction 024: Longboned

We're back! After a long hiatus spent making 983 other podcasts, Science Friction warps in with all-new episode!

And this time, we embrace the NEW. Forget that crusty ol' TNG – this week, we review episodes of 2018's hottest sci-fi shows, including Lost In Space, The Expanse and Altered Carbon.

Never heard of those shows? Me neither – I googled "new sci-fi that the kids like" and just rolled with it, baby!

Porg Chatter #9: Porg Law

The fuck? I'm not even IN this episode! Some Asterios Kokkinos Podcast Factory this turned out to be...here's the description from the Mother of Porgs herself, Siranche:

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The Asterios Showkkinos #0-A: The Parker Luck

It's The Parker Luck, and I've got it bad. And that's good news for Maddox.

BUT: eventually, Peter Parker wins. You can't run from justice forever, George!

The Asterios Showkkinos #0: The Ticking Clock

I'm being sued. I'm still being sued. I might be being sued forever. Here's the story!

Asterios Kills A Kid #6: Kick His Hopes & Dreams

For the first and last time, Asterios kills some adults.

Producer Jesse here! We've had a whole gaggle of callers since our last episode went live, which is great. Thank you all so much for leaving your voicemails at (347) 705-7617, and for submitting questions through the site.

That said, you all know this is a kid's advice podcast right? Because a few of these callers were obviously not... well here's a taste of the voicemails we received.

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Voyagerges #1: That’s Not How Evolution Works

Porg Chatter #8: Hygiene

Sirancha continues to torture me with her "Best Debate" parody series in this week's episode of PORG CHATTER!

The Hour-Long 5 Minute Podcast #3: Mech Romancer

patreon.com/asterios, my dudes

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Waifu Wars 006: Please Ignore Those Gunshots Outside with Assburger & Mumkey Jones!

please support me on patreon so i can continue to buy crab pizza for the people who come to my apartment: http://www.patreon.com/asterios

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Porg Chatter #7: There Is No Porgcast

Sirancha and I have a new porg!

He's Wallard's brother, but he's very small, so his name is...SMOLLARD:

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Asterios Kills A Kid #5: Big, Soft & Cushiony

To Catch a Thrift-Shop-Owner, getting mean taunts out of your orbit, and what to do when you discover your teacher's twitter account...

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Asterios Talks To Strangers #2: The Phone Losers

What if you could make your living by pissing people off?

That's what Brad Carter of The Phone Losers does. He's a professional prank caller, having made over 30,000 calls since the late 70's.

He puts out FOUR shows a week (two just for his patreons), was called a "corporate terrorist" by CNBC, and is currently on probation for prank calling a Safeway so hard that they ran crying to the FBI.

He's a genuine comedy hero of mine, and I hope you enjoy our chat!

Porg Chatter #6: Population Control

Porgs don't use alcohol to escape their problems. They're only addiction is hugs! 

Sadly, Sirancha and I aren't porgs. We open this episode with a, frankly, unusually sincere conversation about how we both need to drink a little less.

But then we talk about Porgs so it's all ok, my dudes!

Asterios Talks To Strangers #1: Izzy Nobre

YES, IT'S ANOTHER NEW PODCAST!!

I know a lot of cool people! Do YOU? If not, you will soon...because I'm forcing them to talk to me on my new podcast, "Asterios Talks To Strangers!"

This week, we talk to my ol' pal Izzy Nobre. He's a Canadian/Brazilian YouTube star known for being a huge goddamn nerd about everything. I order you to love him!!

Asterios Talks To Strangers joins Waifu Wars, Science Friction, Asterios Kills A Kid, Porg Chatter and The Hour-Long Five-Minute Podcast in The Asterios Kokkinos Podcast Factory. Why do I make content like this, instead of like a normal person? I'm not sure! Maybe I'm afraid I'll get bored of making the same show every week? Let's not think about it too hard!

Porg Chatter #5: Twitch Chatter [7,000 Download Special]

They said it couldn't be done!

They said that there was no way a podcast about porgs would EVER hit 7,000 downloads!

And YOU PROVED THEM WRONG.

Porg Chatter, the only podcast in the world that is EXCLUSIVELY about porgs, just crossed the magic 7,000 download mark. The established mark of excellence and quality for ALL podcasts, porg-centric or otherwise! 7,000 downloads! Let's hear it for ourselves!!

AND HERE'S TO 7,000 MORE EPISODES OF PORG CHATTER!! YES!! YES!! THIS IS NOT A MEME AND WE ARE REALLY DOING THIS

Science Friction 023: Catfish Fan Fiction

THIS WEEK'S MISSION:

If you're anything like me, you've often wondered, "Where's Katie Sackhoff?" She killed it as Starbuck on BSG...so where'd she go? In this episode...WE FIND OUT!

THIS WEEK'S CREW:

SF023 stars two of my favorite podcasters: Kevin Cole & Jeff Pennington.

Kevin DM's a D&D podcast called Pretend Friends, and Jeff runs a Star Trek podcast called M-Class. I love both of these dudes, and after you listen, you will too!

Waifu Wars 005: Sirancha Strikes Back!

Watch the video here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hjZWAYehr4

Wow. Well, we were gonna have a fun debate in this episode, but Sirancha kinda short circuits one of the girls immediately by pointing out their dark, criminal past. I gotta say -- this may have been the most fun I've had on Waifu Wars, just watching Sirnachos go ham in an anime debate.

If you wanna see Waifu Wars four days early, pledge for just a buck at patreon.com/asterios

Porg Chatter #4: Porgs Energy

 

"PORGS!" It's not just something you scream during sex...it's also the name of the latest canonical Star Wars cartoon, "PORGS!" 

Waifu Wars 004: Three Waifus, One Weeb

i had to get REAL tore up to sit through this. it's a weird discussion where some guy, i guess he's youtube famous or something (his name is "Wang?") keeps talking about these cartoons like they're pieces of meat and it's just very uncomfortable. i mean literal pieces of meat, like he literally talks about their "thigh meat" and "drumsticks." god i almost threw up writing that. and sirancha's no help, she's just sitting there bidding on love live drinking glasses on ebay the whole time. why do i do this. do i hate myself THIS much?

Porg Chatter #3: Soverign Porgs

In an all porg judicial system, nothing would get done...EXCEPT SNUGGLES AND HUGS! Sure, innocent men would likely be put to death, but you gotta break a few eggs.

BUT NOT PORG EGGS.

DON'T EVEN SUGGEST THIS, YOU MONSTER.

Asterios Kills A Kid #4: Positivity: Fake It ‘Till You Make It

When they're not helping kids untangle their spaghetti brain, or getting them more views on YouTube, Asterios and Sriracha are helping mold our future cult leaders.

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The Hour Long 5 Minute Podcast #2: You Handsom Son of a Bitch

May 9, 2018

We talk a lot about TV in this one! Because I was raised on TV, love TV, and will die holding a TV in my arms!

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Waifu Wars 003: The Madoka Magica Melee

May 8, 2018

Holy shit these three weebs will not shut the fuck up about some dumb cartoon where Sailor Moon girls make wishes and become god and then someone steals half of God's power by invading Sailor Moon "valhalla" and becomes the devil. I'm not kidding or exaggerating at all: that is what this show is about. I thought it was called "Mediko Mekaniko" but it's actually called "Madoka Magica" and the girls seem pretty cool but I kinda don't know why we have to have a dark take on Sailor Moon.

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BONUS: Is Science Friction Kino? with Mumkey Jones & Ass Burger

May 8, 2018

Yes, his name is "Ass Burger!"

On his second channel, my ol' pal Mumkey Jones has a movie podcast called "Is It Kino?" Last night, we decided to mash it up with some Science Friction, and record a knock down, drag out, incredibly civil discussion about Avengers: Infinity War.

Enjoy, and happy tuesday!

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Science Friction 022: #Keto

April 25, 2018

THIS WEEK'S MISSION:

THE GREAT VOYAGER DEBATE!!

No joke: my two guests Marly Halpern-Graser & Josie Campbell love Voyager. Josie likes it more than Deep Space Nine, which is insane to me, but god damn if she didn't make some pretty compelling points. We spend over a goddamn hour REALLY hashing out Voyager.   It's an intense thrill ride of non-stop pedantry, ONLY ON SCIENCE FRICTION!!!

 

THIS WEEK'S CREW:

Marly Halpern-Graser     |     @MarlyHG

Josie Campbell     |     @CozyJamble

 

PRODUCED BY ZWICK!!!

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Science Friction 021: The Guay System

April 13, 2018

THIS WEEK'S MISSION:

I talk with two of my favorite people – animation writers Marly Halpern–Graser & Josie Campbell school me on how to write for Batman, The Teen Titans, and pretty much all the DC superheroes that you've ever seen on Cartoon Network. 

Plus: we talk about how we're GOING to talk about Voyager, but never get around to it, so you'll hear that in the NEXT episode!

 

THIS WEEK'S CREW:

Josie Campbell     |      @CozyJamble

Marly Halpern–Graser     |     @MarlyHG

 

PRODUCED BY ZWICK!

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The Hour Long 5 Minute Podcast #1: “My Name’s Sheldon, Sheldon Cooper”

April 5, 2018

Welcome back to The Five Minute Podcast! It's a special series I do every once in a while for my patreon subscribers – they each send me a topic, and I create a special little podcast just for them. Enjoy this batch!

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