Worms On A String
January 20, 2020
Sirancha gets some fuzzy new pets.
Asterios thanks his various "guys."
And Judge WeezerFan420 presides over...
...THE TROLL TRIAL.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
We Went To Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
January 12, 2020
Sirancha drunk drives the Millennium Falcon.
Asterios stands up for Dwight Schrute.
And what's the better alcoholic milk: blue or green?
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Sirancha Gets Banned From Reddit
January 6, 2020
Asterios eats at a steampunk themed chocolatorium.
Geek girls are mean to Sirancha.
Have A Harakiri Christmas
December 30, 2019
Sirancha's mom engages in Christmas gift oneupsmanship.
Asterios' mom sends our hosts to the Galaxy's Edge.
And chocolate milk eases mee maw to the great beyond.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Adults Watching Children’s Media
December 23, 2019
Asterios pulls on Garfield's potato tail.
Sirancha demands more birds in her children's movies.
And is the McChicken the key to everything?
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Dabbin’ On Tampons (For Charity)
December 16, 2019
Sirancha ruins Santacon.
Asterios snaps into a Slim Jim.
And introducing: Mashed Potate, the drywall-eating Christmas porg.
* * *
We're running a holiday tampon drive for homeless shelters.
Email proof of donation to asterios.kokkinos@gmail.com and we will dab on YOU, live on our holiday livestream.
Here's all the easy ways you can give:
1. Fill our PO box with tampons! Unopened boxes, please.
PO Box 90700
Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997
You can buy 'em and ship 'em, or use Amazon or another service to send 'em directly to us.
2. Send us cash! We'll go out, buy the tampons, and ship 'em ourselves.
paypal: asterios.kokkinos@gmail.com
venmo: @asterios
3. Send tampons directly to the charity:
I Support the Girls
Attn: Dana Marlowe
P.O. Box 2736
Wheaton, Maryland 20915
4. Donate directly to the charity:
https://isupportthegirls.org/get-involved/financial-donation-to-i-support-the-girls/
Tight At The Museum
December 9, 2019
Sirancha embarks on a new career.
Asterios coins several pornographic phrases.
And Adam Neumann hands out tequila shots at the worst possible time.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
COPPA will take your parents away if you are under 13!
December 3, 2019
Sirancha issues a grave warning to tweens.
Asterios gets dunked on by his shitposting niece.
And HOW many turkeys were stolen this thanksgiving?
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Anti-Dabbing Advocate
November 25, 2019
Sirancha does the "Mayo Pete" dance.
Asterios pitches his services to the Saudi Arabian government.
And Wumpus gets a new attitude!
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
/r/Are We The A**holes?
November 18, 2019
Sirancha wonders if we're the a**holes.
Asterios wonders if we're the a**holes.
And you will wonder:
...are YOU the a**hole?
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
From Ragtime to Lo-Fi
November 11, 2019
Sirancha drinks a gallon of water for water rights.
Stuffin' destroys a flower pot.
And Asterios finally learns how tampons work.
At age 37.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
* * *
1st Lo-Fi track from Mimi-Yori! She also made the amazing Sirancha-mation:
https://twitter.com/mahiyos/status/1182930292618645510
2nd Lo-FI track by the incredible Bagel Titan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIdRzx70dAY&feature=youtu.be
Sirancha’s Back!
November 4, 2019
Sirancha returns from the war.
And everyone agrees: she must never leave again.
Welcome her back with the hashtag: #SiranchaDontGo
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Replacement ‘Ranchas: Round #1
October 22, 2019
WeezerFan 420 harnesses the power of anime.
Napsy Lev gets way too high.
And Lauz wins a lapdance at a Smash Bros tournament.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Waifu Wars #8: I Now Pronounce You…Creepy (Pyrrah Nikos from RWBY vs Lynn from Fire Emblem)
October 14, 2019
Alec loves Pyrrah. Nostromo loves Lynn. And Sirancha loves when the episode ends so she can get these creepy manchildren out of her apartment.
Get the video version & 3 years of bonus content for a single $2 pledge: http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Thanks to JJ, Had & KashKash who did an incredible job editing this episode. You can follow KashKash here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFaQt04gPBxKc04Ndh84W4w
Announcing…The Replacement ‘Rancha Candidates!
October 7, 2019
Replacement 'Rancha candidates are carefully chosen.
Did we choose...YOU?
Tune in & find out...
Also: we're having meetups this month! Come replace 'rancha LIVE:
#1. Saturday, October 12th @ 1pm EST
Parrot Palooza 2019 @ Bird Paradise
551 E. Route 130 South
Burlington, NJ 08016
#2. Saturday, October 19th @ 1pm EST
Corn Maze Cafe @ Cherry Crest Adventure Farm
(yes, it's a cafe inside a corn maze)
150 Cherry Hill Rd,
Ronks, PA 17572
#3. Saturday, October 26th @ 1pm EST
International Replacement 'Rancha Day
On discord (applicants, you'll get the link in your email soon)
The Corrupt Monarchy of Barbie Princess Charm School
September 30, 2019
Sirancha takes us to Charm School.
Asterios obsesses over a face tattoo.
And who killed Barbie's mom, who is also Barbie?
* * *
Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/asterios
iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-loudest-podcast/id1382951937
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6NPjuVErySvaCor8tvQwLa
* * *
Send us crazy stuff:
8801 5th Ave
PO Box 90700
Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997
* * *
Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here:
https://www.amazon.com/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=asterios08-20
Memes For A Job Interview
September 23, 2019
A very sexy doctor gives Asterios very bad news.
Sirancha guesses what's in Jon Arbuckle's Marinara Sauce.
And both play a dangerous meme-based workplace icebreaker...
* * *
Support THE LOUDEST PODCAST!
Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/asterios
iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-loudest-podcast/id1382951937
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6NPjuVErySvaCor8tvQwLa
* * *
Send us crazy stuff:
8801 5th Ave
PO Box 90700
Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997
* * *
Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here:
https://www.amazon.com/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=asterios08-20
Live in Detroit
September 20, 2019
Coming to you live from the Lutheran Friends Church in Detroit, Michigan.
Taped August 26th, 2019.
Soberdelic Party
September 9, 2019
Sirancha drinks a gallon of water for gay rights.
Asterios nearly drowns on air.
And both attend a "Sober" party in Deepest Brooklyn.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
* * *
Send us crazy stuff:
8801 5th Ave
PO Box 90700
Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997
* * *
Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here:
https://www.amazon.com/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=asterios08-20
GarfieldEATS Review
September 2, 2019
Sirancha tries GarfieldEATS.
Asterios tries GarfieldEATS.
And GarfieldEATS tries to kill us both.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
* * *
Send us crazy stuff:
8801 5th Ave
PO Box 90700
Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997
* * *
Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here:
https://www.amazon.com/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=asterios08-20
Bonus! Princesses & Porgs #1: Ice Cold Stuffins
August 27, 2019
We're on tour this week, so enjoy this episode from our PATREON EXCLUSIVE D&D campaign, "The One Woman Party."
To hear the next episode, give us your two bucks: http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Don’t Say The B-Word At The Airport
August 19, 2019
Sirancha joins the war in Indonesia.
Asterios overcomplicates the search for her replacement.
And fuck you, Boingo.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
A Farewell To Hooves
August 12, 2019
Sirancha spins tales from The Last Bronycon.
Asterios opens a gift from Dr. Emil Nutrition.
And we meet Micro, Macro & Hank: The World's Smollest Porgs.
* * *
Upcoming Tour Dates:
Chicago 8/22
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4218821
Detroit 8/23
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4249482
Toronto 8/24
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4212356
Montreal 8/25
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4213617
* * *
Send us crazy stuff:
8801 5th Ave
PO Box 90700
Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997
* * *
Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here:
https://www.amazon.com/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=asterios08-20
Philly Live Show
August 6, 2019
Sirancha and I were on the road all last week, so here's a special live show we taped back in June. I'm really proud of this one – it's my favorite show of the tour so far.
Oops! All Atkins Bars
July 29, 2019
Asterios calls a drug dealer something offensively inoffensive.
Sirancha spits fire about Forever 21.
And fans of JoJo's Bizzare A#venture get a sneak peak at the new season.
The Ranchsterios Slimery
July 22, 2019
Asterios dreams of edible slimes.
Sirancha rails against drive-thru boomers.
And "Ranchsterios" is born. Then, quickly dies.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Sirancha’s Birthday Bash
July 16, 2019
For Sirancha's birthday, we play this week's episode by...
...Sirancha's rules.
God help us all.
This Podcast Does Not Cause Bloating
July 8, 2019
How much does your family know about your online life?
For Asterios Kokkinos, the answer is: too much.
Garbage Adjacent
July 1, 2019
Sirancha goes off on "Karen."
Who is NOT Nathen Mazri.
(She just types, sounds, and acts like Nathen Mazri.)
#LOUDEQUALSFUNNY
* * *
Find us at:
8801 5th Ave
PO Box 90700
Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997
Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
* * *
The Battle of Sanctions
June 13, 2019
On this week's THE LOUDEST PODCAST we discuss The Battle of Sanctions.
How bad did Judge Shrugsalot fuck up?
Listen!
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Dabbing On Straight People
June 9, 2019
Sirancha expresses her Pride.
Asterios imagines a porno involving Sheldon's spot.
And both weigh in on poor, sweet Mumkey Jones.
Get more madness at http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Christory #1: From Christopher to Christian
June 4, 2019
Welcome to Christory.
A limited series, just for Patre-o's, brought to you by THE LOUDEST PODCAST.
If you do not know who Christine Weston Chandler is, don't worry. Neither does Asterios.
By the end of the series, you'll be a "Christorian" on par with Sirancha herself.
Join us, won't you?
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Can’t Understand Nathen’s Trade
June 2, 2019
Asterios channels his inner Nathen.
Sirancha gets real about GarfieldEATS.
You down with E.E.G.? Asterios' new therapist sure is.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Entergaging In Toronto with Nathen Mazri (CEO, GarfieldEATS)
May 27, 2019
Asterios goes to Toronto.
Sirancha avoids a 14-hour bus trip.
And while discussing a Garfield-themed pizza restaurant, Nathen mentions:
-
Cryptocurrency
-
Artificial Intelligence
-
Farm-To-Plate Integrity
-
Venture Capital
-
The 22 Immutable Laws Of Branding
-
Licensing And Franchisee Models
-
QMR
-
NOT QSR
-
The Consumer Culture of Dubai
-
And how GarfieldEATS is NOT a Garfield-themed pizza restaurant.
We hope you will join us for the Grand Opening of GarfieldEATS in June.
(Or July.)
(Or August?)
James Charles’ Bizzare Instagram Adventure
May 20, 2019
Sirancha Pokèmon GO-es trespassing.
Asterios wants Russell Greer to STOP doing everything.
And we finally review peoples dating profiles, LIVE!
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
What Are The Bases?
May 13, 2019
On THIS week's episode, we will finally determine...
...what the bases are.
Bitching About The “B” Word
May 6, 2019
Once again:
We get to none of the topics we had planned.
#BlameSirancha
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Entergaging w/Nathen Mazri (Co-Founder of GarfieldEATS)
April 28, 2019
Ladies & gentlemen...
...we got 'em.
Enclosed: an interview with Nathen Mazri, Chief Entergagement Officer of GarfieldEATS.
Law School Virgin
April 22, 2019
Sirancha reads a book from a promising new author.
Asterios extols the virtues of The Big Bang Theory.
And god help JJ if there are no porgs in Episode IX...
A Firing Squad of Dicks
April 15, 2019
Sirancha reveals the worst thing she's ever heard.
Asterios mansplains McDonalds to Sirancha, a former McDonalds employee.
It's the second worst thing she's ever heard.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Everything You Wanted To Know About GarfieldEATS & Sex
April 8, 2019
Sirancha talks about GarfieldEATS.
Sirancha talks about GarfieldEATS.
And Sirancha talks about...GarfieldEATS.
#LOUDEQUALSFUNNY
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Normal Porn For Normal People
April 1, 2019
Sirancha wants better porn for women.
Asterios has a few ideas.
Sirancha hates them.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
WackDonalds Secrets & Sirancha’s Survivor Screed
March 25, 2019
Asterios reveals the terrifying secret of McDonalds All Day Breakfast.
Sirancha is astounded at the longevity of Wendy.
(Wendy from "Survivor," not Wendy's from Wendy's.)
(Who we also love.)
To Catch One, You Must Be One
March 18, 2019
Sirancha loves Cilantro.
Asterios hates ASMR.
And Tallard sees...beyond the veil.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Fan Unboxings + Sirancha’s Survivor Showdown!
March 11, 2019
Sirancha is enraged at this year's Survivor twist.
Asterios opens a very emotional gift.
And both want you to play Tiny Bird Garden.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Asterios Kills A Kid Presents, “Hard Up For Heroin!”
March 4, 2019
The kids want their heroin.
It's our job to...help?
And: Asterios plays a dangerous game of Would You Rather.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Waifu Wars LIVE!
February 25, 2019
It's like Sirancha always says:
"You cant watch anime without seeing a little brother-fucking."
FFS.
Who Is The Worst Fictional Animal?
February 18, 2019
Sirancha hates Chewbacca.
Asterios hates Bambi.
And our lovely callers hate making sense.
http://www.patreon.com/asterios
Memes Are A Secret Shame
February 11, 2019
Sirancha has some sharp opinions on the Shaggy meme.
Asterios insists Porg Chatter isn't dead.
And a pornographic comic book featuring our hosts gets some story notes.